I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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