I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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