Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.