You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
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The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
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i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.