you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week