im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
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That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
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Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in