I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
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you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
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so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...