TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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