and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's shark week go big or go home
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
