I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
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Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize