I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
