I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
