how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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