Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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