Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
