morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.