Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.

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(563): that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark. http://tfl.nu/i86g

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(253): View more from Washington

she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?

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(253): she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person? http://tfl.nu/ofbb

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

A better fuck for starters.

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(610): He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him? (484): A better fuck for starters. http://tfl.nu/qmis

Replies (34) Good night (632) Bad night (3125)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.

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(403): I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness. http://tfl.nu/0zt1

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(310): View more from California

four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.

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(310): four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again. http://tfl.nu/xdhu

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(651): View more from Minnesota

A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.

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(651): A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life. http://tfl.nu/zayp

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(801): View more from Utah

I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.

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(801): I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion. http://tfl.nu/ntse

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(303): View more from Colorado

dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.

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(303): dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0. http://tfl.nu/gdax

Replies (35) Good night (6037) Bad night (819)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?

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(724): Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle? http://tfl.nu/1h10

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(+25): View more from

We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?

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(+25): We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them? http://tfl.nu/7ecx

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night

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(617): Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night http://tfl.nu/g4dq

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(703): View more from Virginia

I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues

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(703): I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues http://tfl.nu/075m

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(951): View more from California

I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.

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(951): I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting. http://tfl.nu/326h

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(250): View more from British Columbia

WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.

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(250): WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME. http://tfl.nu/12ba

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(607): View more from New York

U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl

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(607): U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl http://tfl.nu/xeyc

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