this beer tastes like vomit already
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
