Can i not drive my cunt home
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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