And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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