are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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