woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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