I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
