Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
