No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
