Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I can't turn off my feet"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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