this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
