You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
