This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
