He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
