it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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