If that was your dad, he is hot
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
