ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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