I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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