I am in a vortex of obligation.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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