I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Your face is a jimmy john
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
