im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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