theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
