so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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