Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
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