Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
