My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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