I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
