READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
