remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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