I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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