im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet