They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
At least make sure they are 18
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
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Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
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Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?