Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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