I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.