Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.