What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize