So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize