...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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