We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
