Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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