Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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