So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
