Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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