I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
wow bdsm is so cute
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
