That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
please come you make the beer taste better
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Randomize
