Moan for me like Helen Keller
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
