His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize