The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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