i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
