very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
