you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
