Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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