I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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