It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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