WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
