I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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